I’ll speak for myself.
Fear is always in me, in some form or fashion.
Where am I going? Who will I meet? What will I do? How will I do it?
And these are not deep fears of a vast, unknown future.
Webster says:
turn – to cause to move around an axis or a center; make rotate or revolve
Fears of the everyday.
I’ve got a meeting…
Oh my gosh I’m so late. I’ve never met this person before. Will they understand what I say. What if I can’t do it.
The fears of the everyday.
These might be the times I turn to God the most.
I turn to God in the fears of the everyday.
Oh please don’t let me be late. Please let them be nice. Please let me speak clearly. Please help me through this.
Webster says:
rely – to be dependent; to have confidence based on experience
Hardly do I rely on God… “post” fears of the everyday.
Thank you for them being late, too. Thanks for getting me there safely. Thank you for their joyful heart and their good mood. Thank you for the conversation. Thank you for helping me get my point across. Thank you for handling it all when I can’t.
Turning isn’t a change in location.
Reliance is a leap.
Hours after this meeting, the part God played was brought to my attention.
I quickly recalled every worry I had before it. I realized everything went perfectly.
I would have passed through my day without any thought to how well the meeting went, but beforehand I was extremely concerned with my fear. If things went sour, I might’ve even prayed about it.
Realizing God’s role and acknowledging Him after the fact is what pushes ‘turning’ to reliance. I acknowledge how He acknowledged me.
I prayed in my fear, out of fear. It wasn’t necessarily a conscious prayer to God. But thankfully,
“If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.”
For some reason, God doesn’t base His response to me on my response to Him. God has no reliance on me.
If I face the fears of the everyday relying on God, I have confidence based on experience. There’s no need to fear. His faithfulness to me has nothing to do with me. It’s not about me. At all. He hasn’t let me down… He hasn’t ignored me. I have let Him down… I have ignored Him.
Reliance on Him will take the fears of the everyday and turn them into thanksgiving.
Turning is stationary.
Reliance is a leap.
